Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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