Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
