yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need moral support for this bender
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
