11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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