she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
