sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Panties = found
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
