youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
