I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
its liver damage thursday
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
