Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize