Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
