you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Who died my cat blue again?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
