He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
