How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
