Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
