so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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