is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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