You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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