i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
