bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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