we have officially lost it.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
