my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
