lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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