My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
