the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
