I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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