I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
