the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
