did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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