i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
