and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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