I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
