I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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