your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
