fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
