this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
