Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
