Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
