There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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