I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
