I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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