Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
