I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize