ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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