She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
