Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She needs sedatives and a leash
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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