Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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