I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
