She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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