Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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