I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
