they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
