is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
