I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I had to cum in my sink.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
please don't ironically join a cult
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